Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
