The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Randomize
