I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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