I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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