Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
