you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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