Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's rum buckets o'clock
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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