Kiss
Puke
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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