I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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