I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
