I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
