Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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