I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
