dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My liver just had a heart attack.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
