So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
