I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
