Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i've created a new STD.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
