u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
