That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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