lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
