Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
