North Korea, Best Korea!
It's Friday. Sex?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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