Can i not drive my cunt home
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
