How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
