You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
