So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
