your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
