You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
