At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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