Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
