My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
