dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
