YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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