I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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