So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
