Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
