i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
