Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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