He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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