new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
