Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
