Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
