We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
