I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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