I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize