i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
