i permit you to call me
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
