Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
