is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
