I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
